Monday, January 18, 2010

~A life is more precious than the whole world~

precious babies at Aeranwon...

















"The loneliness in an unfamiliar city, fears of an uncertain future, and the past trauma...all of these I endured because I had something precious to keep; even though that meant giving up everything else, that is the life of the baby growing inside me... To be a single mom in Korea means being isolated from your family and friends...to cut off all connections and go to a place where no one knows me. Since the secret cannot be kept forever, people will soon discover that I am a single mom... But, I don't want to hide my child in the shadows anymore. I choose to raise my child rather than adoption and I want her to grow up in the light, rather than in the dark where she would be disconnected from society."

These are words expressed on behalf of most single mothers of Aeranwon Women's Shelter. Everyday, these young women work to create an independent life with their baby and everyday there are obstacles to overcome.

She might not have much money, but she still has her son. Despite deeply embedded prejudice against unwed mothers in Korea, Kim, 36, decided to keep her child after she broke up with her boyfriend. She didn’t want to have an abortion and she didn’t want to have her child adopted. “I’ve met mothers who gave up their children for adoption and they said they suffered from a sense of guilt later in life,” said Kim.

Born in Hapcheon, South Gyeongsang, Kim was raised by her grandmother from the age of two after her parents divorced. She has not seen her biological mother since middle school and she said she wishes her mother had been there for her while she was growing up.
To make a living, Kim makes ceramics and natural soap, and she recently took a course on natural and organic cosmetics. “I never have enough money but I felt that it would be better for my son if I raised him,” she said.


The current laws social welfare laws in Korea fail to address the needs of unwed single mothers. AeRanWon provides assistance to support young mothers to live healthy and independent lives with their children, providing education and vocational training, and parenting skills. The shelter was founded in 1960 by American missionary Eleanor C. Van Lierop initially to protect runaway girls and female prostitutes. The shelter currently accommodates up to 40 unwed pregnant women and their children. The name of the organization means “planted with love,” after the Korean name of Van Lierop when she lived in Korea.

The counseling aspect that Aeranwon offers is crucial to helping the women adapt to life with a child but no husband. “Some unwed mothers think they can return to a normal life if they give up their child for adoption, but they have to live with a sense of loss and guilt,” said Han Sang-soon, the director of Aeranwon. “And for those who choose to keep their children, as soon as they walk out the door at Aeranwon, they are faced with the start of a crisis.”
One of the biggest problems the women will face, though, is making ends meet. Even if they’ve had job training, most of the mothers get stuck in low-paying jobs and it is often difficult to keep cash coming in. It is often the case that unwed mothers have nobody they can rely on because they can neither go back home nor ask for help from their child’s biological father. According to Han, most unwed mothers are from broken families or cannot return home because of a stigma against single mothers. For whatever reason, they have usually separated from the child’s father by the time they enter Aeranwon. “This is why unwed mothers need a place to stay,” Han said.

According to a survey of 308 single mothers between 2001 and 2004 by Aeranwon, unwed mothers who stayed at the institution ran away from home at age 13 on average and became pregnant at age 16. Most of them could not finish high school. Soon after giving birth for the first time, they became pregnant again. “They need someone who can protect them while they are wandering the streets. They often end up finding themselves with strangers, mostly men,” Han said. “As soon as they become pregnant, they are abandoned.”

Kim left the house three years ago and now lives with her 6-year-old son in an apartment provided by the institution. overcoming deep-rooted prejudice is a challenge for which there is no pat solution. Kim, who now lives with her 6-year-old son, didn’t tell her family that she has had a child until two years ago. She finally informed them because she thought her son needed relatives. “I came to realize that my son has no relatives he can visit. I felt sorry for him. My love wasn’t enough for him,” Kim said. She and her son have visited her relatives in her hometown several times but their reaction has been aloof. “They’re not as affectionate to him as they are to other kids,” said Kim, explaining that she’d overheard her relatives saying she shouldn’t be allowed in the house because she was an unwed mom. Even more hurtful is her family still suggests that she could put her son up for adoption. “It is difficult to live as an unwed mother in our society. If I were a divorcee with a child, it would have been a lot easier,” she said. And as her son gets older, she knows there will be more pain to endure. She’s afraid her son will have to face prejudice at school. There are plenty of anecdotal stories concerning parents not wanting their children to play with the kids of an unwed mother. Despite the difficulties, Kim has no regrets. “My son is adorable and I get huge amounts of joy raising him. Nothing can ever get in the way of my love for my son.”

Friday, January 8, 2010

Masterpiece of Hope and Healing













A Grand Masterpiece of hope, healing and destiny being painted in each beautiful soul at SungNo Orphanage...




















Friday, January 1, 2010

Dad in Seoul!

My dad's visit to Seoul was memorable and special...we treasure the memories always!



My dad or Santa Claus!! the kids really believed he was Santa I think!

Snowballs for the kids...they were amazed, first real snow storm in years!


Lotsa Xae and Grampa time!